Yup, I´m sorry, but let´s face it, why else would men lose the hair on their head and start growing it out of their ears and noses instead? Which by the way continue to grow until we die! Why else would black hair start to grow in unwanted places on women´s necks and faces? And why else would we start moving around like moaning cripples every time we stand up from the couch, squinting with our dry eyes. Let´s face it. That´s not sexy. It´s natures cruel joke. Please read the following quote with an English accent as Life looking down on us, consulting with Nature: “These people are not ideal for having children anymore. How can we let other people know to steer away from them? I know! Let´s remove their lush beautiful hair and make it grow elsewhere.. muhahaha… let´s make them shrink! We´ll make them weak and dry, with big ears and noses, then nobody will look at them twice. Problem solved!”. Except the jokes on you nature! We have things like exercise, knowledge, makeup and all kinds of other magical stuff to still make us pretty!! And we can still have fun without actually making babies! You can´t stop us!
I recently had this really funny conversation on the phone with my friend about growing older and I´ve previously had a similar conversation with my hairdresser here in Sweden , where we laughed until we cried. Literally! I Loved it! Those conversations sparked this blog. Plus one I had with my beautiful brother where he mentioned nature´s cruel joke about men and hair growth. It´s so funny to talk about these changes, because we all go through them but it´s not normally something we talk about or admit to anyone.
My mother once told me that the best years were between 30 and 40 (even though she won´t admit to it now and is no longer of that opinion, she says). I always thought that was such a depressing thought. When you hit 40 you have like half of your life left! Maybe more, maybe less. You never know. I personally enjoyed turning 30 more than turning 20 and 40 way more than turning 30. And I´ve never wished I was any other age than the one I am right then and there.
But it´s not always easy when you find your body, face or skin changing. It takes a few moments (and by moments, I mean days or weeks) to accept the new changes. I remember when I started getting wrinkles on my forehead. I was 26. I of course googled really wrinkly foreheads and assumed I would look like a bulldog before long. Then I just got used to it and it didn´t actually get much worse. I´m still just kind of equally wrinkly. Now I´m 43 and I never think about it. Except obviously now that I´m writing a blog about it.
On to the next wrinkle crisis I went through. Wrinkles through my lips! You know like the ones people that smoke get. Except I don´t smoke. What the fuck! “How can I be getting that kind of wrinkles” I thought, as I frantically googled horribly unflattering pictures of really really wrinkly mouths on pissed off, angry looking women and thought “this is what I´m gonna look like soon!” I kept wondering why I was getting wrinkles there, until I realized I sleep with my face squished against the pillow for 8 hours each night, giving me all kinds of weird wrinkles. Like on my lips, eyebrows and even on the side of my nose. What the hell is up with that? “Why?” I cried out dramatically in my head, “Why can´t I just sleep completely still on my back. Without my pillow attacking my face every night!?”. Well… ask and thou shall receive. As I asked Life that question, Life delivered and gave me pain instead!! Thanks to that pain, I can´t sleep on my hips anymore. Which forces me to sleep on my back! Thanks Life! I now predict I will get no more wrinkles. Ever! At least not from sleeping with my face squished against the pillow. I don´t really consider this a win-win situation though. More like a lose-win, but you can´t win them all. And you know what they say: “beauty is pain”. Never really associated that saying with hip pain and wrinkles, but life works in mysterious ways and sometimes you get what you ask for. I just have to be more precise. I have wished for years that chocolate would start tasting like crap so I could stop eating it. I´m still waiting on that one. In fact I might just take that one back.
The next chapter of my wrinkle journey was my neck. One day I was adjusting the mirror in the car, stretching out my neck when I saw it! THE CHICKEN NECK! Or more accurately a tiny indication of a beginning chicken neck. But still. CHICKEN NECK! I of course spent the next weeks googling everything from neck surgery to neck exercises. Now, like 5 years later it hasn´t progressed and I couldn´t care less if my neck doesn't look like it´s twenty. Because it´s not. It´s 43. Like the rest of me.
The newest change I have just accepted is a slight change in my jawline. I of course consulted Dr. Google on the matter. He told me it´s called jowls and that almost everybody gets them with age. It didn´t take super long for me to accept them. Maybe because they´re almost invisible and I totally overreacted. Or I´m getting the hang of this. But if my eyelids start drooping over my eyes, I´m getting surgery!
The best thing about growing old is the insight and wisdom you get. Realizing that nobody cares what the hell you look like. Except for you. And of course it´s important to feel good about yourself. The best way to look good in my opinion is to exercise and smile. And get enough sleep. And drink plenty of water. And make sure you get the nutrients you need. You get my drift. Smiling makes everybody beautiful. Even us that are getting a little wrinkly. And loose-skinned. What´s up with that? Do you know what I´m talking about? The skin getting like.. looser? Like it´s trying to break away from your muscles. Don´t they like each other anymore? Was there a big fight I missed? Anyway, my skin seems to be ignoring my muscles for some reason or another. But that´s ok. So does everybody else´s skin. Eventually. And that´s the beauty of it, people! It happens to us all. It´s totally normal! I accept growing older and everything that comes with it, but I´m going to fight the things I can, like losing my muscles and bone density. Yes I know I´m not 80 yet, but 40+ is definitely the time to start thinking about keeping your muscles, bones and brain healthy. I want to keep my mind razor sharp! For as long as I can. And my muscles in good working condition so I can keep my balance and not break my hip like my grandmother. Because I know I would be exactly like her. Totally difficult, like a stubborn mule, not understanding why I can´t just go home and move on my butt up the stairs with my broken hip. Then I would challenge the hospital staff to a wheelchair race just like she did. Which actually sounds like fun. But I would still prefer to keep my hips unbroken.
Seriously though. Growing old IS beautiful. I love it. It´s a privilege denied to many. I still find my beautiful 50 year old husband very attractive and I love the grey in his beard. I think it´s super sexy. And there are plenty of gorgeous bald men out there. Not to mention the woman on the cover. She´s stunning! There´s nothing wrong with aging. Or talking and laughing about it.
Here´s to a long and happy life, laughing until we cry at life's silly jokes. The tears lubricating our dry eyes.
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